always on the hedge
Me, whining: ughhhh bills and bill books? what – why do i need those? this is so stupid – why is the government putting taxes on money it didn’t even work for. mom, dad what is this all about – i hate it
My parents, sipping coffee, staring blankly into space, offering me the only words of condolence anyone can give their child at this age: Welcome to the “real” world.
Me: *listening to music*
Bluetooth Headphones: im tired, plug me in
Me: im busy
Headphones: oh rly? k then
Headphones: *begins beeping incessantly in my ears*
Headphones: plug me in
Me: I’m literally in the middle of something, please wait
Headphones: ok boss
Headphones: *beeping gets louder*
Headphones: plug me in
Me: why are you like this
Pros and Cons of Fall…
PROS:
– butterflies are packing their bags and getting ready to leave for Mexico
– I get to wear sweatshirts again
– I can fully enjoy my feather comforter and make myself into a burrito with it
– Daylight Savings Time is almost here
CONS:
– brisk air that hurts my nose and lungs
– spiders step up web-making skills
– we get both lots of water rain and lots of leaf rain
– too many pumpkins
– turtle-neck shirts are in season
– I can’t wear shorts anymore
Why are pharmacy workers not called “pharmers”?
My sister can do a scary accurate Gandalf-bellowing voice and I’m slightly intimidated.
I may be a bad writer, but at least I’m not like Jules Verne over there – taking up the first four pages of his opening chapter in “Michael Strogoff” to describe in detail the simple act of a Russian ruler being informed by one of his officers that rebels are being rebellious.
Insanity is writing and rewriting the same paragraph in your essay/novel/etc. repeatedly for days on end all while slowly forgetting what it was that you were going to write before you hit writer’s block.
Being a writer is like being a wizard: you do spells, and they don’t work a lot of the time.
Make sweet tea, not war.
My sister just figured out that my office chair goes up and down when you spin it and this discovery makes me so incredibly happy that I might cry. So many height levels to try. So much spinning.
H3J-ified 