Humor Me

Whistling ‘Splish Splash’ (Bobby Darin).

People will wonder what type of bird I am.

Tell them I’m a ‘rockin’ robin’.


Kayaking 101

Was out kayaking with some friends and a butterfly came out on the water to say ‘hi’ to them.

It tried to come to me.

I have a phobia of butterflies.

I splashed at it and screamed “fight me”.

It flew back to my friends like: “man, leaving that peep alone – getting all DEFCON 1 up in there”.

What is a butterfly even doing out on a lake?

Update 2: Coffee

Dad just asked me if I knew what decaf coffee was. I said “not coffee”. He said “brown sadness water”.

He’s continuing to make jokes.

  • “There are two kinds of people in this world – people who drink coffee and sad people.”
  • “If you’re drinking your coffee and you get a pain in your eye, take the spoon out.”

    Dad said “I REFILLED THE COFFEE BECAUSE NO ONE EVER DOES” as he left just now. Even dads are dramatic.

    Update: Coffee

    Dad just walked in and was excited to get coffee – opened the cabinet and found the coffee jar empty (the same one with a single bean left in it). He started groaning and said “OH MY WOOOORD. THERE’S NO MORE COFFEE.” 

    He has now started another coffee bag.