Update: Coffee

Dad just walked in and was excited to get coffee – opened the cabinet and found the coffee jar empty (the same one with a single bean left in it). He started groaning and said “OH MY WOOOORD. THERE’S NO MORE COFFEE.” 

He has now started another coffee bag.

Coffee

Went to make coffee for mom and myself this afternoon, but I wasn’t sure about finishing off dad’s special Sumatra blend because he might’ve wanted some later. Mom scooped out enough for us both and said: “There, I left him one bean.”

I assumed she was joking.

I was wrong.

She left him one bean.

Brain vs. Emotion vs. Impulse: Chick-fil-A

Me: *getting ready to order*

Me: I’m feeling frisky today, so I’mma try some thing new.

Brain: But why

Emotion: Because you’re a heightened individual who likes exposing themselves to new options

Emotion: Also because they have a bacon biscuit and you like bacon

Brain: Fine

Brain: So bacon biscuit?

Emotion: Bacon AND EGG biscuit. Use it’s proper name. Save yourself the barbarianism

Me: Ok

Brain: Okay, real quick repeat after me –

Brain: “Yes, I would like a bacon and egg biscuit, but can you leave off the cheese?”

Me: “Yes, I would like a bacon and egg and cheese biscuit, but can you forego the cheese?”

Brain: Who even says ‘forego’ anymore?

Emotion: Enlightened people

Brain: No, people who read a lot of classic literature

Emotion: Just say ‘forego’

Brain: But it sounds weird

Me: *steps up to counter*

*family orders almost all of the same thing*

Chick-fil-A Worker: Hi, what can I get for you today?

Impulse: I’ll have (what family ordered) too.

Brain: What 

Emotion: Why

Brain: Are you even kidding me right now

Brain: whAT ABOUT THE WHOLE “LET’S TRY SOMETHING NEW” THING? YOU EVEN PLANNED WHAT YOU WOULD SAY WHEN YOU ORDERED THE BACON AND EGG BISCUIT 

Emotion: We even went over whether to use the word ‘forego’ – but here you are, foregoing ordering the right thing

Brain: Where did Impulse even come from?? NONE OF THIS MAKES SENSE

Me: *sighs*

Me: That was not what I meant to order but it’s too late now

Brain: Look, just stick with the food you know from now on. This is what happens when you try to order something new

Emotion: …

Emotion: ‘forego’ does sound weird

CAN’T EVEN TYPE

MY COMPUTER KEEPS CRASHING AND NOT ONLY DID I JUST LOSE HALF OF THE STORY I WAS WORKING ON, BUT NOW THE ENTIRE COMPUTER IS LAGGING LIKE IT THINKS THIS IS A JOKE – BUT NO, IT’S NOT A JOKE.

DEAR COMPUTER,

I AM GOING TO LEAVE YOU IF YOU KEEP DOING THINGS LIKE THIS – THIS ISN’T HELPING OUR RELATIONSHIP – I WILL REPLACE YOU

SINCERELY,

YOUR ONLY USER