Brain vs Emotion: Subway

*at Subway*

Brain: okay, make sure you get this right because if you don’t everybody here is going to look at you with disgust because you can’t even order a sub

Me: alright I know what I want

Brain: now, say ‘I’d like a cold cut combo on six-inch Italian’

Me: *has a thought* but I need to be polite while doing it, right? so I say ‘hi’ first and then ‘please’ when I’m done…

Brain: there’s no need for that, they work all day taking orders from people who are less polite than you, so just tell them what you want. don’t worry about anything else or Emotion is going to show up and then we’re –

Emotion: you need to be polite. those poor people deserve respect. they are taking your order and expertly executing it – so give them respect and say ‘hi’ then ‘please’, and all other nice things

Brain: no just –

Me: it’s almost time to order what do I want again?

Brain: okay okay repeat after me –

Emotion:  don’t forget ‘hi-‘

Brain: ‘I would like a….’

Emotion: those are the chips I eat when I’m stressed, get those.

Brain: ‘cold cut combo…’

Emotion: do we like salami? I feel like crying right now.

Brain: ‘on six-inch Italian’

Emotion: what if telling them our order that way is rude? be more polite.

Brain: and be done with – HERE WE GO

Me: *nervous sweat*

Subway Worker: hi, what can I get you?

Me: Hi, I’d like a… cold cut combo on six-inch Italian, please.

Subway Worker: k

Emotion: good job being polite, you did well.

Brain: next phase – what you want on it

Me: *internal screaming*


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